Its midnight right now, and I'm in one of those rare collective moods of mine, a moment in between my utter goofiness and the usual sheer testosterone pumping "HELL YEAH" modes that I have in the gym. A time where I sit down to reflect on things deep within me. Of emotions and dreams. In this time I think about me and about others.

One thing on my mind is the concept of "Manliness". My personal friends have heard me talk about all too often. I was usually silly when I say it. Basically, I try to fashion myself with the behavior of those Hollywood action heroes from cheesy B movie thrillers, like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, usually speaking in a hoarse voice and speak about the reckless awesomeness I would achieve, though never do it. Usually, I did it to make people associate me with something, and just cause its fun with friends. But also, there is a deeper level. Maybe I'm sick of this new feminism that has been going along. Now, I don't hate feminism per se, but feminism lost its femininity long ago. Instead of trying to elevate the concept of "woman", these modern feminists are trying to degrade the male and bring superiority to women that are just women by chromosomes only. They demand everything for themselves. Instead of equality in the workplace, it becomes a sensitive environment where a single "sexist" thing could wind you up in a concentration camp...oh sorry, sensitivity awareness program. Now, not all are like this, but these radicals are starting to taint our law, and it is deeply worrying.

Maybe the reason I did this "Manlness" thing is that I'm sick of men just lying down and kissing the feet of these faux feminists that are quite popular in my school, and that I yearn for the Man Ideal in this female dominant society where femininity has died and an extreme bitchiness has taken place. The Maliness thing is an ideal I want to have, to show the world that I give not a damn about where they are going, and that I shall uphold what they thought was dead. A silent protest.


Ok, that was more of a rant, but I could have done worse. Another thing on my mind is guns. You may find this scary and terrifying, but guns give me comfort in times of trouble and sorrow. And I never once thought of using it to kill someone when I hug one of the Lee Enfields secured in the closet. I get agitated when I look up those teen sites that go and talk about guns and teens as an issue. Now, I'm not angered about the issue itself, because it is true that gun violence is very real in America, but the thing that bugs me the most is that they go on to think that the only reason people would go buy a gun is for hunting, target shooting, or killing someone. This is just two dimensional and wrong. They never considered the concept of someone owning a gun just because they have the constitutional right to. When the sites go and state that gun control is a solution, in America, it isn't. All it does is take guns out of the hands of lawful citizens, and merely inconveniences criminals who can get their hands on one in the black market, or just use other means of killing. And those lawful citizens will be infuriated at the unfair measures placed upon them, and will go underground, causing them to become criminals.

I want to buy lots of guns. I want to buy them not just because of hunting or plinking, but because I can. I want to make gun control even harder and harder to apply. I will have them everywhere, albeit locked and secured so that there will be no accidents, but so that it will be impossible for the gun seizers to get them all. I want to show them that they are wasting money futility trying to get the guns from lawful citizens, among them will be those who will gladly be labeled "criminals" and "Nuts" just to keep their rights. And gun control will not give me peace. It will make me more and more insane and tormented. And let's say I am capable of evil, which every human being is capable of, no matter how much they deny it, and I'm banned from owning a gun. That won't help, cause already in the top of my head I thought of several ways to destroy a human life from a distance. Terrifying, isn't it? If I turned insane, I could easily kill without a gun, and ironically, they were one of my greatest comforts. Now, don't worry, I have values of ethics to stop me, and a deep love for the 2nd amendment that I wouldn't want to jeopardize it any further. Of course, everyone has a small button that could make them slip. I pray that nothing pushes that. Of course, even if it is pushed, I doubt I would use a gun for my murder weapon. That would just comfort me back into normality. Anyway, real criminals could just start using hunting rifles, and then gun control might apply unto those, but then real consequences will occur. And I will smile. The real solution is to clean up the cities with justice in one hand and rehabilitation in the other. Just depraving the thugs something won't change their mind. Just taking a gun away from them won't take away their murderous intent.


That is the end of my entry, and I hope that I haven't scared anyone off. Midnight is usually the time when I'm more open about my views.